We’re two days away from August, and the college football season is already starting to heat up.
Sort of.
New Florida Gators head coach Jon Sumrall and ESPN football analyst Dan Orlovsky have been going back and forth this week over the most offseason topic of all time: pedicures.
That’s right. You read that right. Pedicures.
Sumrall’s wife let the cat out of the bag last week that the new UF coach has a secret passion for pedicures, saying that it’s his “favorite extra thing to do,” and that he gets one “every two weeks during football season.”
Relatively harmless interview, and one that, frankly, I didn’t think would get much play given the news cycle.
Boy, was I wrong.
Orlovsky hopped on ESPN’s ‘Get Up’ this week, and angered America when he declared that he was “completely against pedicures for dudes.”
“You’re a dude. You’re not supposed to get pedicures. I am so against this. You should not be getting pedicures… I’d rather have awful feet than get pedicures,” he continued.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and Orlovsky made his stance clear. In turn, Sumrall took to X and stuffed the ESPN analyst in a locker with a photo so damning, I’m not even sure Orlovsky can come back from it:
Goodness gracious.
Hand up, I forgot that picture/video of Dan Orlovsky existed. For those who don’t follow ESPN religiously (all of you, I hope), that’s a clip from a few years back on ‘First Take’ when Orlovsky, for some reason, decided to smell host Molly Qerim’s shoe live on air.
He just … smelt it:
My God. What a scene. What a moment for ESPN.
How does Dan Orlovsky, in good faith, make the pedicure comments when he KNOWS that clip is lingering in the ether? If I knew that footage existed, I would never, ever, ever, hop on ESPN and say a single word about feet.
I’d keep my mouth shut, my head down, and my eyes forward, and just pray nobody ever brings it back up.
PS: I don’t agree with Orlovsky because I know plenty of dudes who get pedicures (well, just two, but still), but I also don’t think it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard someone say. It’s locker room talk. Guy speak. Clubhouse banter.
If you’re in a locker room and say you get pedicures, you’re gonna catch flack, even if the other dudes in there get them, too. That’s how we operate.
I have no idea how the Gators are going to be this season. I assume pretty mediocre given the past decade, but maybe I’m wrong.
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I do know that Jon Sumrall is off to a blazing start with this takedown of Dan Orlovsky. We need more of this at UF. Things have gotten so bland around here.
Not anymore. Not in July, at least.
Now, let’s see this energy in October.
